Bismillahirahmanirraheem 

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم

Assalamalaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh 

Chapter 2: What is a Nikkah?

The nikkah is a vow before Allah سبحانه و تعالى‎ binding a man and woman into a halal relationship. The nikkah is supposed to be simple to make it easy for the believers to marry and maintain halal relationships. Not much is needed for a nikkah, in fact, it is sunnah to have a simple nikkah.

Introduction 

In this part, we will be discussing some of the intricacies(details) of the marriage and nikkah process. I’m an orphan and a revert – I have found it hard to acquire information about how to get married; so for the sake of providing more detail, marriage as an orphan and marriage as a revert will be in its own post in Chapter 3.

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To have a valid nikkah the following must be present: 

□ Consent and presence of the guardian – father of the bride or brother if father has passed – or imam can take this position if no wali or mehram is available(more on this will be in Chapter 3)

□ Consent of the bride 

□ Presence and consent of the groom

□ At minimum TWO Muslim witnesses of sound mind. Typically a male from the female side and a male from the male’s family. The wali does not count as one of the witnesses since one of the purposes of the witnesses is to make sure the bride and groom are marrying of their own choosing without the influence/force of their parents. It can also be one male and two females. This is to ensure the parties are willing and to prevent acts of adultery.

□ It’s sunnah to marry in the masjid but not obligatory – mixing of male and female is not permissible for nikkah. If done in a masjid the male and female will sign the nikkah contract in the respective male and female places before they can meet. So they meet after the nikkah has been completed as a married couple. 

□ For the nikkah you should dress formally, but modestly as well as the guests and witnesses. It’s sunnah to be simple. 

□ The nikkah must have a contract to protect the rights of the couple

□ There is no official clergy for nikkah so any Muslim who understands Islam well can be the official for the nikkah. However, if the nikkah is held in the masjid then an Islamic officiant(such as an imam) may preside over the nikkah. 

□ Mehr is an obligation, not optional. The female must pick an amount for the mehr and the male must pay the mehr. The male cannot negotiate the mehr either, it is the choice of the female. However, the female can adjust the mehr based on the male’s situation if she chooses to marry him and the original mehr is not achievable. The mehr doesn’t have to be paid in full at the time of nikkah – it can be paid in time, but an amount of the mehr should be paid. It can be things such as jewelry that can be sold or kept for emergencies, the house in which the couple will live, cash deposit. Alternatively Islamic things such as the recitation of a most favourite surah of the female are allowed. The mehr is meant as a security for the female – so think carefully about what you ask for. (More on mehr in Misconceptions + Extra Information)

□ Be aware of the conditions behind the nikkah – the rights and requirements given by Allah سبحانه و تعالى‎ first and then further conditions can be made by the bride or groom as long as they do not contradict the Word of Allah سبحانه و تعالى‎.

□ Once all the requirements are met anyone can officiate the nikkah ceremony. The bride and groom repeat the word “qubool”(I accept) three times. Then the couple and the witnesses sign the contract, which the imam can provide or the couple can get their own, making the marriage legal according to civil and religious law.

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Clearing Misconceptions + Extra Information

■Both men and women can ask for marriage in Islam – the burden does not Islamically fall on either/or.

■ It is NOT permissible in any way for the man to ask a mehr or for a dowry from the female. It is also not permissible for the parents of either side to take the mehr from the female. If the female decides to use the mehr for the family, to waive some of the mehr, or to use part of the mehr as a gift for the male it is permissible and considered a good deed unto her. 

■ Marriage in Islam requires the approval of both the man and woman, it’s not Islamic to force a marriage between free people.

■ You should seek approval of the parents for marriage, but the parents are also obligated to consider your choice through Islamic lense, not just a cultural one. If you find a believing woman/man strong in their deen with positive influence your parents should not stop you from getting married. However, you should still listen to their opinions and try to reason with them if they are unwilling to approve. Piety(honour and respect) to parents is obligatory. For Reverts, this becomes complicated if your parents are not Muslim, I will discuss that in Chapter 3.

■ There isn’t a vow exchange in the nikkah, but if done in the masjid usually the imam will recite some verses from the Quran and possibly give a short khutba about the rights of the women and man and meaning of marriage. 

■ There shouldn’t be music at a nikkah. It’s not permissible. 

■ Serving/Eating food after the nikkah together is common and can happen at the masjid or at a second location/venue. It’s also sunnah for the bride and groom to share food from the same plate for the first time! 

■ In the U.S. or other non-Muslim countries it is required to gain a marriage license from your county/local courthouse before the nikkah since it is a legally binding ceremony. (More on this will be in Chapter 3)

That’s all for this post – insha’Allah I will post Chapter 3 soon.

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All praise to Allah, Lord of Worlds. 

Ya Allah, please grant all the believing Muslims, good believing spouses. Grant us spouses that will help us get closer to our deen and to You. Grant us healthy marriages and help us through anything that may arise so we can maintain healthy halal relationships. 🤲

Ya Allah, help every man/woman out there suffering in his/her marriage. Bring unity to the heart of the couple and save them from the evil attacks of shaytan and his helpers from amongst the jinn and mankind. Where separation is best, then help them move on in a kind manner. 🤲

Ya Allah, grant us peace of mind by saving us from people of fitnah. We seek refuge in You from being a trial of others and from others being a trial to us. Place in our lives those who will be the coolness of the eyes. 🤲

Ya Allah, forgive us our sins. The sins we committed knowingly and unknowingly, the ones we remember and the ones we have forgotten. The smallest of our sins and the greatest of our sins and make us amongst those who remember You much.

آمين يا رب العالمين

Ameen Ya Rabbul Alameen