Disclaimer: Everyone is free to choose how to handle their desires, although no one is free of the consequences. This guide is simply to help Muslims who want to cease their homosexual desires for the sake of living a life that is pleasing to their lord. Its not directed towards non-Muslims who do not want to change.
To my Muslim brothers and sisters who have these desires,
I want to let you know that its very possible to stop having homosexual thoughts. Every strong desire starts out with a few thoughts, and if you entertain those thoughts, they continue to increase until you feel you cannot control them anymore. Until you feel they’ve become a part of you. You might be at the stage where you feel like they’ve taken over and that you’re a homosexual. However in the end, it’s controlled by your thoughts. It takes a lot of patience to recover because it requires that you change your mindset.
Keep in mind, many Muslims go through this process of changing their thinking. You’re not alone. For example, a Muslim might be addicted to sin such as watching inappropriate content and that’s all they can think about. So they too have to change their thinking. Or even, a Muslim might be depressed and they have to change from always thinking negatively to being positive. And so on…
Everyone has some sort of test which requires them to change their mindset, it’s all to see whether we hold on to the rope of Allah or let go and embrace our desires/weakness. You see, homosexuality isn’t some type of special desire that’s way more complicated than other immoral desires or weaknesses to stop.
Here are 4 important steps to cease homosexual thoughts:
Before anything, develop a habit of renewing your intention for the sake of Allah. Our efforts are useless without sincerity. Once your intention is in place, Allah will surely help those who want His pleasure. He will make everything else fall into place for you.
It will benefit you to also understand why homosexuality is haram. Homosexuality is one of the most dangerous major sins which does not only effect the individual committing it but society as a whole. Just look at the western society, since embracing LGBT, they’ve become obsessed with sexuality to the point even children are being taught about it in school. All the trendy photos, poses, even compliments (ex: “you’re hot”) are sexual. People have lost their morals. We’re told to “do whatever makes you happy” which opens a door to endless corruption. What can be worse than guiding people away from God? The movement is guiding people away from eternal paradise, this is worse than murder. When one is murdered they suffer temporarily while when one is taken away from paradise, they suffer permanently.
Homosexuality leads to diseases as well. Some people argue “but people can protect themselves” but the reality is less wealthy countries don’t have the resources to do so and many die because of it. The argument society uses “love is love” isn’t valid anyways because what is then stopping it from being used for incest if it’s between consenting adults.
- Persistently make dua asking Allah to help you stop those thoughts, increase you in patience, and continue guiding you to the right path. Also, you must do your best to get closer to Allah by improving/doing more good acts (especially the obligatory prayers) and stopping as many sins as you can, because the closer you are to Allah the more you dislike what Allah dislikes. So you will start disliking homosexuality and other immorality.
- Strive not to entertain those thoughts. Whenever you think of them move your focus to something else. Busy yourself with something beneficial, preferably with reading/listening to Quran and doing dhikr. Istigfar is a powerful dhikr because our prophet SAW had said: “If anyone constantly seeks pardon (from Allah), Allah will appoint for him a way out of every distress and releif from every anxiety, and will provide sustenance for him from where he expects not” [Abu Dawood]. Block them out as much as possible and keep telling yourself that you are not interested in the same gender.
- Keep away from what can influence you to think about homosexuality (lower gaze in public near both genders, if you are following LGBT people/celebs on social media unfollow them, avoid chatting with people you know will discuss homosexuality, etc). Instead, surround yourself with practicing Muslims.
- Fight off Satan because he is actively trying to lead you to sin by whispering homosexual thoughts. Defend from his whispers by reading athkar, constantly make dhikr and read Quran. Also, if you listen to music, stop doing so as truly it is satan’s tool to make your heart more vulnerable to his influence.
You wont notice a change in a day, it will take patience but inshAllah those thoughts will cease in time. Satan will do whatever he can to get you to give up, but keep doing your best and know that Allah would never give up on someone that’s trying to do good for His sake. At the same time, it wouldn’t be a test if it wasn’t a struggle. The Prophet SAW said, “Allah says: ‘I am just as My slave thinks I am, (i.e. I am able to do for him what he thinks I can do for him) and I am with him if He remembers Me…” [sahih bukhari]. This is a powerful statement by Allah, guiding us to never despair in His mercy, help and generosity. Have firm hope that you will be successful.
One of satan’s tricks is to make you believe that you could never be fulfilled if you don’t embrace those desires, that you’d be denying “who you are”. Always remember that “who you are” is Allah’s precious servant and not the servant of immoral desires. Furthermore, the reality is that only closeness to Allah, which occurs when we do good and sacrifice evil desires for His sake, will lead us to contentment in this life and the after. We were designed to reach true and lasting fulfillment only from Allah. So do not race to please yourself, race to please Allah and He will please you.
With this guide, you’d be tackling the source of the issue(homosexuality). That is: Your thoughts, environment, satan’s whispers, and connection with Allah.
Keep in mind, there is no sin on those with homosexual desires if they do not act upon them. However, one should strive to block and cease immoral thoughts as they can continue to increase until they become uncontrollable, leading to sin.
May Allah help and bless those that want to improve for his sake.
