Allah uses pure words, figurative-speech and metaphors (الكناية), to avoid vulgar, filthy, shameful and inappropriate words.
•Ibn Abbaas said:
إن الله خجول والتغشي، والإفضاء، والمباشرة، والرفث، واللمس، هذا هو الجماع غير أن الله حيي كريم يكني بما شاء عمّا شاء’
𝙄𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙚𝙙, 𝙂𝙤𝙙 𝙞𝙨 𝙎𝙝𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙃𝙤𝙣𝙤𝙧𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚, 𝙃𝙚 𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙨 𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙮𝙖𝙝 (𝙛𝙞𝙜𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙚𝙘𝙝/𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙖𝙥𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙨) 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘴 𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴.
𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘺:
‘𝙏𝙤𝙪𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯’ [أو لامستم النساء] (5:6)
‘𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘯, 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙧 (𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘺), 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘢𝘥 (𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘺).’ [فلما تغشاها حملت حملا خفيفا فمرت به] (7:189)
‘𝘼𝙥𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴.’ [الرفث إلى نسائكم] (2:187)
‘𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙.’ [ من نسائكم اللاتي دخلتم بهن] (4:23)
‘𝘚𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴.’ [فالآن باشروهن] (2:187)
‘𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳.’ [وقد أفضى بعضكم الى بعض] (4:21)
-[‘Musannaf Abdur-Razzaaq’, 10826 – إسناده صحيح].
We should also try our best to abstain from using cheap vulgar words. It also makes a person lose respect in the eyes of people.
Avoiding dirty words and using metaphors – استخدام الكناية
There are many filthy/obscene/vulgar words which immoral people often use (الكلمات التي لا يحسن ذكرها). If honourable people were to use dirty words, they would lose respect and they would lose their respect and shame or honor.
So, respectable people refrain from using cheap language. Instead, they use clean metaphorical speech to convey their message when needed. Because sometimes realistic words could be used, we should know that vulgar cheap speech doesn’t equal realistic words in speech, but when possible it’s better to avoid even using the realistic embarrassing words and to use metaphors for them etc.
This is very common in the Qur’an and Sunnah – some examples:
1- The Qur’an states:
أَوْ لَمَسْتُمُ ٱلنِّسَآءَ
“Or if you have touched women…” [4:34].
Meaning: The “touch” here refers to sexual intimacy. The shafiis believe touching a woman generally is being mentioned here and that simply touching breaks Wudhu which isn’t correct.
2- The Qur’an says about Jesus and Mary – peace be upon them:
كَانَا يَأْكُلَانِ ٱلطَّعَامَ ۗ
“They both ate food.” [5:75].
Imam al-Baghawi writes:
وقيل : هذا كناية عن الحدث ، وذلك أن من أكل وشرب لا بد له من البول والغائط ، ومن هذه صفته كيف يكون إلها؟
“It was said: This is a metaphor for impurity, because whoever eats and drinks must urinate and defecate. How can someone that has these characteristics be a god?”
[“Tafsir al-Baghawi”, 3/83].
Meaning: God did not want to use bad language, or to dishonour Jesus and Mary, but He indirectly alluded to the fact that they go to the toilet, like all human beings and God is exalted above impurities.
3- The Qur’an also states:
أَوْ جَآءَ أَحَدٌۭ مِّنكُم مِّنَ ٱلْغَآئِطِ
“Or if one of you returns from the low area of the land (‘al-ghaait’).” [4:43].
Meaning: In those times people had no toilets, so when they relieved themselves, they went to an area of the desert that was lower, so that nobody could see them, and that’s where they relieved themselves. The Qur’an did not use filthy words, but just alluded to the LOCATION of it, using that clean metaphor.
It did not even say: “IF YOU COME …”, (أو جئتم من الغائط) it says: “IF ONE OF YOU COMES…”, keeping it even further away from the reader.
4- And in another instance:
نِسَاؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَّكُمْ فَأْتُوا حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّىٰ شِئْتُمْ
“Your wives are like your plowing fields (tilth); so enter (and cultivate) your fields in any manner you wish.” [2:223].
Meaning: Just like a farmer plants seeds in a farm to grow crops, so does the man plant his seed (sperm) in his wife’s stomach and a child grows.
5- One example from the Sunnah, the Prophet said:
لاَ يَحِلُّ لاِمْرِئٍ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ أَنْ يَسْقِيَ مَاءَهُ زَرْعَ غَيْرِهِ
“It is not lawful for a man who believes in Allah and the last day to water with his water (i.e. sperm) what another man has sown.”
[“Abu Dawud”, 2158].
https://sunnah.com/abudawud:2158
Meaning: It is not permissible for a man to have intercourse with a woman who is pregnant from another man.
6- And the Prophet said about divorced women:
لاَ تَحِلُّ لِلأَوَّلِ حَتَّى تَذُوقَ عُسَيْلَةَ الآخَرِ وَيَذُوقَ عُسَيْلَتَهَا
“She is not lawful for the first (husband) until she tastes the honey of the other husband and he tastes her honey.”
[“Abu Dawud”, 2309].
https://sunnah.com/abudawud:2309
Meaning: A woman cannot marry her divorced husband, until she marries and has intercourse with another man and he divorces her. [ This ruling is post third or final divorce, after that the man can’t take her back unless the woman normally with good intentions marries another man and have intercourse and somehow they normally end up in divorce again, in this case then the wife can marry her previous husband.
7- About the ‘Hur al-‘Ayin’ (women of Paradise), the Qur’an praises them as follows:
كَأَنَّهُنَّ ٱلْيَاقُوتُ وَٱلْمَرْجَانُ
“As though they were rubies and pearls…” [55:58].
And in another instance:
كَأَنَّهُنَّ بَيْضٌۭ مَّكْنُونٌۭ
“As though they were eggs well guarded (in a nest).” [37:49].
This is the rule, but it doesn’t mean people will not make mistakes – humans are emotional beings, mistakes will happen.
For example when Abu Bakr became angry, he said to the mushrikin:
امصص بظر اللات
“suck the clitor*s of (the fake goddess) Laat!”
https://sunnah.com/bukhari:2731
This were his lieteral words, and this is in Sahih al-Bukhari.
The translators just translated it as “Abu Bakr abused them”
It’s also to be understood that using vulgar cheap words at times could be permissible. For example using obscene lustrous words between husband and wife during intimacy is permissible if it helps in more arousal or pleases one another if they compliment each other with lustful sexual speech.
•Ibn Al-Qayyim (رحمه الله) stated: “It is from the necessary affairs that a man precedes sexual intercourse with his wife with foreplay, kissing and sucking her tongue. Allah’s Messenger (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) would participate in foreplay with his wives and kiss them.” (Zād al-Ma’ād, 4/253) All of this is allowed and legislated and it brings about love, intimacy, compassion and the utmost nearness between their hearts and bodies.
Allah (the Most High) stated:
أُحِلَّ لَكُمْ لَيْلَةَ ٱلصِّيَامِ ٱلرَّفَثُ إِلَىٰ نِسَآئِكُمْ ۚ
“Allah has permitted for you sexual relations with your wives on the night of fasts.” (2:187)
•Ibn Jareer At-Tabari (rahimahullāh) said in his Tafseer (3/488) that:
…. this includes, “lewd speech of a sexual nature.” And Ibn Jareer and Ibn Mundhir reported from Ibn ‘Abbās (radiyallāhu ‘anhumā) that he said: “Ar-Rafath (ٱلرَّفَثُ) means frequently coming to the wife, kissing her, winking at her and speaking with sexually explicit language.” (Shaqā’iq al-Atrujj of As-Suyooti, p. 85)
•Also, ‘Abd bin Humayd reported from ‘Atā (rahimahullāh) in his explanation of this verse: “Ar-Rafath (ٱلرَّفَثُ) means sexual intercourse and besides that from sexually explicit language.”
•Ibn Seereen (رحمة الله عليه) was asked, “Can a person use sexually explicit language during intercourse?” He responded: “The most pleasurable intercourse is the one with the most sexually explicit speech.” (Nawādir al-Ayk of As-Suyooti, p. 48)
And in some cases like medical students they might need to study with real words of the private parts, though a man and woman should try their best to not use it unnecessarily out of shamelessness. Using these words under necessity or importance is not an issue, the issue is when people use it for fun and vulgar speech or when there’s no need for it
و الله اعلم
